Saturday, October 20, 2007

I think sometimes that blog postings can make our life appear rosy and perfect, when they aren't. My post yesterday wasn't intended to make anyone feel bad, especially my dear, sweet daughter. It's just that this week was an especially hard week for me.

Most of my adult life I've been a stay-at-home mom. It wasn't always an easy choice. I have often wondered why God gave me the desire to work, when I've always felt his calling on my life was to stay home and raise kids. All around me my friends are working, most of them at really interesting, challenging jobs that leave them feeling fulfilled and valued. At nearly fifty years old, I often think I missed the boat somewhere.

I truly think that being a stay-at-home Mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world. There's no one to pat you on the back and say, good job! You changed three poopy diapers today! Way to go! You're such an awesome mom, you changed the baby's clothes twice today after she spit up all over them, and you! No one gives you a pay raise for doing a particularly good job, or just because another year has rolled around. This isn't meant to be a put down of women who work outside the home. Staying home and raising kids was a choice I made, for me. It was what was right for my family, and in no way do I think I am capable of, nor do I have the right, to say what is right for anyone else's family. One lesson life has taught me the last few years, however, is that nothing in life is certain. One minute you can be on top of the world and have everything you ever wanted, and the next minute it can all be gone, in the blink of an eye. I want to cherish every moment I can with my kids and grandkids. I don't ever want to look back and wish that I'd spent more time with my family.

It's just, like I said, that this week was a hard week. The grandbaby is sick and teething, and she cried all week. (Like Jeremy said, no fun at all.) I love watching my grandkids and spending time with them, but I'm not their mom and I'm not young, like she is. When the baby cries a lot, I can't comfort her the way her mom can. I get frazzled and tired, and by 5:30 Friday night I was done in. Twelve hours of sleep last night and a day out with my hubby has made a big difference in my attitude. Another twelve hours of sleep tonight, church and a nap tomorrow, and (hopefully) getting my hair done Monday, and I'll probably be a whole new person. Or maybe, just the old me. :)

1 comment:

Mom said...

Hang in there. Soon that precious grand daughter will have her teeth through and feel better and will dazzle you with her smile. :) You are doing a great job! Love you!