Hmm, talk about a pity party. Boy, have I been throwing myself a whopper lately! Sometime today, in the midst of perusing a stack of books high enough to consume my entire stash of spending money for the next 13 days, browsed thru while nestled deep in the cushions of the "good" chairs at Barnes and Noble, my spirit lightened and I made a decision...enough is enough.
I don't know what brought it on. Maybe it was just taking time the last couple of days to spend some time on "me". Maybe it was enthusiasm about new ideas gleaned from the art books I was looking at. Maybe it was the holy spirit, battling oppression and being victorious. Maybe somewhere, someone was praying. I don't know, but somehow, a cloud was lifted, and I am beginning to feel better.
It's hard; this being a parent business. If my husband and kids and grandkids and family are the most important things in my life, after my relationship with my heavenly father, how do I balance that priority and not be consumed by it? How do I not let the choices that other people in my life have made, not overwhelm MY life too? How do I pursue interests and desires that I have, and not let that turn into selfishness?
Geez, why is my life so complicated, when I yearn for simplicity?