renew my strength

A couple mornings ago I looked out the kitchen window and saw a bald eagle circling around the island out in the lake. Was it a sign? A gift from my heavenly father? Maybe just a reminder....I don't know, but it encouraged me, nonetheless.

Isaiah 40:31 (New International Version)

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I laughed last night.
For the first time in two weeks.
I sat on the couch with my kids and grandkids and watched American Idol and we talked, and for the first time in two weeks I had a feeling of "normalcy".
It was a real live, honest to goodness, conversation. Emphasis on honest.
It felt SO good.
If you don't know what's going on, this won't make any sense to you.
If you do know, you'll understand.

Skunked

I continue to have issues. But this has nothing to do with my current state of anger and rage. It has to do with my hair.

I have really gray hair. Don't even ask why. That has to do with my current state. Anyways...I go to this upscale (i.e. really expensive) salon, about 45 minutes away from this God forsaken town that I live in, mostly because nobody there knows me. It's gotten to be ridiculously expensive and I tried to go to different hair stylists in this town, but I backslid and returned to Gene J. Partly because they always give you glasses of ice water with lemon in it, but mostly because I just like it there. It makes me feel "special". The point is, I went last week and got my hair colored, just as I do every six weeks. But for some reason, it turned out dark. Really, really dark. Way darker than it usually is. The girl must have somehow messed up, because now I look goth. And for this I paid a bu**-load of money. Plus gas. So now I'm either going to have to live with this, which is better than the grown-out skunk look I had going on, or I'm going to have to call up there and explain my problem and reschedule another appointment and drive back up there and have them put some highlights in so that it doesn't look so dark and pay more money. And frankly, I can barely leave my house right now. But that's a whole 'nother story.

P.S. I just made myself an appointment for Friday.

issues

My thoughts lately:
...going thru mcdonald's drive thru yesterday, I ordered a mcchicken sandwich and a medium diet coke..

"Do you want fries with that?"

(If I wanted fries, wouldn't I have ordered them?) "NO"

"Would you like to donate a dollar to the ....such and such charity?"

"No. No. No. No. No. I just want a mcchicken sandwich and a medium diet coke. " (How about this? How about you donate a dollar to me? So I can pay for this blasted mcchicken sandwich that i really shouldn't be eating anyway, because it'll probably just make me sick to my stomach like everything else i eat does these days? or better yet, for the gas I've spent sitting in this drive thru while you ask me stupid questions. or even better, so I can pay....grrr argh!!!)

I'm having anger issues.

perspective

Putting details of my personal life on the internet isn't something I do very often. Not a smart idea. Suffice it to say, life is hard right now. The good thing about hard times is that it puts everything else in perspective and allows me to see what's important in my life. We'll survive. I'm not sure how, but with God's grace and love, we will. The other thing about hard times is that it drives me to my bible, where the living word of my heavenly father somehow comforts and upholds me.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)

9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.